Disclaimer: My planning skills are very lackluster, and that's one reason why I think I did poorly on this practice. I contradicted and repeated myself a bunch, but I think if I did a better job preparing I would have been just fine. Time to practice practice practice!!
Criterion A (3 marks): There is little direct quotation from the passage itself and the commenter fails to make any deep insights relating to the novel. However, there are a few good connections to context and background, but they are not supported with evidence or examples.
Criterion B (6 marks): The commenter does a solid job using literary devices to connect back to the purpose of the passage. He acknowledges the lack of trust between narrator and reader a variety of times and uses literary devices to establish and support his thesis. However, there isn't an in-depth understanding of the effects on the reader, and that limits potential for higher scoring.
Criterion C (2 marks): There is an attempt for organization and structure, but the recording doesn't flow naturally. He jumps from different segments of the passage with little abandon and frequently backtracks to make a different point. He does do an effective job of organizing by literary device, as the structure is relatively clear, but the focus on organization is minimal at best.
Criterion D (3 marks): Most of the language used is appropriate and functional with regards to the rubric. However, he occasionally uses incorrect grammar or slang, and stutters or sayings like "um" frequently. Overall, it was mostly appropriate for the passage.
Total: 14 marks
Spencer:
ReplyDeleteI agree with a lot of the feedback you gave yourself, but I do think your A and C would end up being a bit higher IRL.
Some suggestions:
- Keep looping back to your thesis or the purpose of the passage- it should serve as a topic sentence for each "section" of your commentary. It makes it easier for your listener. Be specific.
- Make sure you structure your analysis like this: topic sentence of feature and reinterate statement of purpose, example, meaning, and then effect. Repeat.
- Review your literary devices; I think you could have done a lot with first-person POV (be specific with what you are looking at...you mention mood, but skip over POV).
- Slow down a bit- just for the listener, and to be sure you do enough.